Sunday, 11 September 2011
So you get to my age (I feel so old writing that) and the sun is setting on teenage dating, people start settling down into proper 'grown-up' relationships, shockingly people are even starting to get engaged which scares me to no end. Anyway, my friends, despite all being very intelligent girls all seem to have fallen for the typical chick-flick bad boy. Read this list and you may well recognise more than a few of these... The "I'll Dump My Girlfriend For You" Guy They're in a relationship, but it's ok because its 'over', they just have yet to tell the other girl this - minor issue, and possibly never will. This can go on for weeks and weeks, and as soon as the girlfriend finds out, you look like the bad one. They always go back to the girlfriend, making you look like the loser. The "I Want To Have My Cake And Eat It" Guy Basically, the cheater. The cheater takes many forms in cheating, there's the physical cheating (no need to go in any details), the guy who texts dirty things to other girls and the guy who tells other girls he wants to be with them (see before). Yet somehow these guys have enough wit and charm to win back even the most pissed off girlfriends... The "Don't Talk To Or Look At Another Guy" Guy The possessive guy. He likes to think he's a laid back kinda guy, but of course if his girlfriend so much as looks at another guy, or maybe even greets him they are obviously sleeping together, because he's so secure like that. One of my friends exs stole all her going out clothes (short dresses and skirts) because he was conviced The "I've Got A Secret" Guy The kind of secret that if you knew about before you were together you would have run a mile, whether its a prison sentence a few years back or a tendency to get into fights this guy is definitely one to avoid (if you can identify one before it's too late) The "I'm Going To Push You Further Than You Want" Guy Admittedly I am talking about when we were 13, one of my friends started going out with this guy at the start of lunch (oh yes, lunchtime was the hive of social activity and start of many short lived relationships) Anyway by the end of lunchtime he was openly grabbing her arse in public, she looked so uncomfortable having never done ANYTHING with a guy before, bless her. He didn't stick around long... I love how lame this story sounds, innocent times :) The "Let's Not Label What We Have" Guy Let's face it, he's probably seeing someone else, being "official" nowadays means it makes it onto Facebook letting the whole nosey world know you are no longer available, you don't wanna miss put on anything better that may come along right? The "Friend-Hopper" Guy So he's been with your best friend, another friend and that girl you occasionally talk to in Maths, the word player springs heavily to mind. He does it because he can, he will almost certainly be the relationship you look back and cringe at. The "Too Into You" Guy So it's nice to be liked, but there's a fine line between being interested in and being stalker-ish. Yes, these are the stalkers you appear offline on Facebook to avoid and pretend you have not phone credit for months on end. They like you more than any other girl they have ever met before after an hour after meeting for the first time. Call me old fashioned but waiting outside my caravan (Yes this was a holiday camping romance) at 6am because I was annoyed at you is not normal! Let's face it, no matter what you tell your friends they will continue to go for the not so appropriate kind of boyfriends but all you can do is smile and tell her you think he "seems like a nice guy" and let her cry on her shoulder when it all goes pear-shaped.
Tuesday, 6 September 2011
Gone are the days when the only people you formally ended a relationship with were business partners and unsuitable 'other halves'. The other day my friend got friend dumped, over Facebook. Ouch. My friend, lets call her Anya, was told by a girl I know (one of Anya's 'best friends' lets call her Michaela) that they were no longer compatible as friends and that from now on they would be living life separately. Michaela told Anya that she had moved on and asked her not to bug her to meet up anymore. She also informed Anya that she was pursuing a more glamorous life - I'm presuming she failed to mention that this involved her new job stacking shelves in the local Tesco. Ouch. In the style of any decent TV drama breakup, Michaela phoned Anya a few days later, then sent her an emotional Facebook private mail in an attempt to reconcile however I have been informed the damage has been done. So ladies (and any possible gents reading this) ever consider dumping you friends? There's always the fail safe 'growing apart' option, used by many of us at some point in an attempt to shake off those people we just don't like anymore. Seems a bit harsh really.
I'm one of those people who hate changing plans, especially last minute. Here I am sat, 9.30am on a Tuesday morning in the last fortnight of my university holidays, with an hour to kill. Yes my plans have been last minute changed. I hate people sometimes. Approximately twenty minutes ago my facebook chat pops up "Hi is it ok if we meet an hour later?" There I am fully dressed and ready, killing time, screaming at the computer "No it's not! Stop ruining my day!" Yet this didn't quite translate to my typing hands which neatly and politely replied "Yes, sure, look forward to it!" I hate myself sometimes. My days are always planned down to the last minute too much to do, too little time. It ruined all my other plans for the day just so I can have coffee with plan-changer girl. Here's to fitting my life around the lateness of other people, oh how I love changing plans.
Monday, 5 September 2011
Like many women worldwide, yes, I have a severe love for shoes. Yup, shoes. Seems crazy doesn't it; as clothing items go its seems like one of the more practical inventions, we all know what it's like to have pain soaring through your food as you accidentally step on something sharp, yet we squeeze our feet into shoes that look less and less like feet should go into them. I'm pretty sure when our ancient ancestors invented protection for their feet around 7000BC (according to my best friend, Wikipedia) they hardly had something like this in mind...
walk stand in those?
I have the greatest of respect for women (Victoria Beckham) who spend their life teetering around on 5 inch heels, unfortunately I was not built with the balancing abilities and willingness to endure the pain.
It's simple. I cannot walk any notable distance in heels. I have done it, and suffered immensely the next day from the pain.
Yet I continue to buy them. My shoe radar hit the roof the other day as I was walking into a charity shop and I spied the perfect pair of shoes. Unworn (so, so rare when setting foot in any decent charity shop), stickers still on, fraction of the original price (only £5), metallic pewter colour, easy 4 inch heel. Beautiful. My Size: Perfection.
Couldn't resist. I can guarantee they will only see the light of day once (on planned, get in and out of car, minimal walking trips) if at all, but, it's worth it just to walk around my room pretending I'm far more glamorous than I ever will be.
But that's just me. It's what I do, I am a shoe hoarder with the least practical collection of shoes and I love it.
Saturday, 3 September 2011
So we see this bunch of people, all actors in their own rights.